Endings and Beginnings

Pending blood results, I should be producing the correct female levels of estrogen by tomorrow evening!

The end of one clouded life, and the beginning of a life of haze-free sunshine and rainbows or something like that!

Freezing

I now understand layers and women constantly being cold. I've removed about 90% of my body hair. Constantly cold. OH FUDGE.

Goals

This is the first of a set a goals I will be developing over the next few weeks:

Goal: Dressing female every night that wife is not home. Excluding nights when out of the house.
Date: From today onward

The Voice of a New Generation

So I have been practicing my female voice. The exercises are absolutely hilarious. Sounding like Mickey Mouse for 30 mins every day makes for a good time. I think I am making some progress though. I've hit a suitable tone/range, but need to build the strength to hold that voice. I've been following "CandiFLA" on YouTube. Her videos are awesome. So jealous of her voice! Someday...someday.

The Final Countdown(First and a half Sequence)

I have scheduled my first laser hair removal session!  December 3rd....so long, facial hair!

The Final Countdown(First Sequence)

Welcome to part 1 of an expanding series, entitled "The Final Countdown". This series of countdowns will be related to transition milestones.  Milestone 1: Obtain Hormones.  Barring a bloodwork catastrophe, I shall obtain my hormone prescriptions on November 1st!

I may even celebrate with a wine cooler.  Imagine that.

Listen...I'm not gay. I'm gay.

I am transitioning and changing my gender, but that does not mean I magically like men.  Who knows what will happen on hormones, but right now I want cock just as much as any straight male.  Once I go female full time, I shall be a lesbian.  Alot of guys out there always say "heh, yeah I'm a lesbian at heart."  I guess I actually meant it when I said it.  Now I must learn the art of scissoring.

SCISSOR ME, XERXES!

My Balls and You: The Definitive Guide

My testicles.  I don't hate them.  I don't hate my penis.  Do I want them?  Not particularly, but if I'm stuck with them, so be it.  Not a big deal, as there is more to being a woman than oft-covered genitalia.  My therapist has suggested that this makes me "genderqueer" or "bigendered", but thats a bunch of BS.  I'm just realistic about the costs of surgery.  Do you have $25,000 just lying around?  I sure don't. 

I remember thinking around age 14 that somehow a second puberty would start and my boobs and hips would grow.  This distance led to extreme discomfort, especially in P.E..Changing clothes around what I perceived as the opposite sex was terrifying.  Fuck...and having to wear little speedo swimsuits during the swim portion.  Just about killed me.  Not really...but it certainly sucked.

Sex for me has never been what others seem to experience.  Penile/Vaginal intercourse feels good, but not THAT good.  Wearing a condom?  May as well turn over and go to sleep because there definitely won't be any pleasure there.  I have never found myself thinking about what I would do to someone.  I may say "oh man I want to bang her", but what I'm thinking inside is "I hope she's aggressive in the sack, because I can't be and obtain any enjoyment out of it." 

I also cannot stand people touching my testicles.  My body enters a state of panic when another persons hands enter the Testes Zone. I always thought this was just some weird thing about me, but am realizing this was probably the first severe physical manifestation of gender dysphoria.  These same panic-y feelings are what I had been experiencing prior to seeking a therapist.  That subconscious reinforcement that I have the physical body of a male.  I hate it.   

Shapeshifting - The Beginning

This is my first post on my journey from boy to girl.   A wolf turning into a rainbow studded butterfly.....or something.  Can I be some sort of goth butterfly instead?  Is there a middle ground? I hope so, because I ain't wearing any Betsey Johnson B.S.  Gaudy nonsense.  Putting 30 random trinkets you stole from Grandma on a piece of string is not fashionable or attractive in any way.  Girls, you look like trend hopping hobos with that shit on.  Stop it!


Current status:

28 years old, living as male for now, 2 months into therapy sessions, completed 2 of 3 appointments at an Informed Consent clinic.  Appointment 3 = prescription for hormones(estrogen, in this case), testosterone blockers, etc.  Currently "out" to friends and family.  Boss knows as well.

For those unaware of Informed Consent, basically you prove to them that you're healthy enough for hormones, and that you're not batshit crazy, then they give you the hormones.  These types of clinics are rare.  The guidelines most people must follow involve a full year of therapy, living as the opposite gender for a certain period of time, etc, before you are approved for HRT(hormone replacement therapy).  Informed Consent is a godsend.  Trans people do not want to spend months or years looking like a dude in a dress(or a girl in guys clothes for FTM) before they are finally approved to start HRT, which will take years to complete.  This will allow them to form their on plan for transition, which is very important.